Sex addiction is an illness that is experienced worldwide by men and women from different backgrounds and cultures. When a person is a sex addict, they suffer from a disease which is incurable, progressive and capable of destroying the lives of not only the sufferer but of their families as well.

Sex addiction can be managed with a recovery programme and therapy but whilst in the grips of this addiction, sufferers cannot escape their obsessive and compulsive behaviour. Often sex addiction is experienced with other addictive behaviours such as drug use and eating disorders. They are all behaviours of the same disease of addiction.

Similar to other addictions such as drug addiction and alcohol addiction, sex addiction is based on obsessive and compulsive needs. The behaviour of a sex addict can include repeated empty affairs, compulsive masturbation, frequent use of prostitutes and other sex services and in extreme cases can even progress to exhibitionism, voyeurism, child molestation and rape.

Sex addicts however are not bad people. Their condition is not a moral failing: It is a spiritual unrest

Why is Sex Addiction So Destructive?

In some Twelve Step fellowship support groups, ‘bottom line behaviour’ is identified. Bottom line behaviour is a term used to define the specific sex addict’s behaviours which they act out on.

Most sex addicts experience ‘intrigue’ which is the mental preoccupation with sexual acts. Objectifying people, constant obsession with sexual acts, flirting and generally spending much time with the preoccupation of sex is the mental state of a sex addict. These obsessions are then followed by the compulsive acting out on sexual behaviours.

Sex addiction is progressive. It may begin with compulsive masturbation and an affinity for pornography which then develops into a serious problem involving the use of prostitutes, money troubles, families being broken up and unemployment, further to which suicide can be a consequence.

When sex addiction has progressed to a severe level, the sex addict is unable to resist the impulse to act out on their sexual behaviours. They become more involved with the behaviours for longer periods of time, with greater intensity and violence to have the desired effect, resulting in their responsibilities being neglected. Without being able to fulfil their obsession and act out on the behaviour, they become irritable, restless and angry. Despite the desire to abstain and stop the sexual compulsivity because their lives are beginning to crumble, they are unable to do so. They are powerless over their sexual addiction and their lives begin to become completely unmanageable.

Treatment

Sex addiction is treatable, but incurable. Yet with therapy, abstinence from the disordered sexual behaviours and maintaining a programme of recovery on a daily basis, a sex addict can regain a normal life again. Inpatient treatment in a counselling centre can be extremely beneficial to a sex addict seeking help for their problem. Many sex addicts will be in a state of denial about their problem but once they have admitted that they have a problem, they can begin the healing recovery process.

Inpatient treatment will usually provide group therapy and individual therapy which have been found to be the most successful methods of dealing with sex addiction. Treatment facilities are a safe place for sex addicts to recover where they can process their condition with experienced and understanding people. They need never be alone in their struggle again.

Whilst in a rehabilitation centre, a sex addict will need to begin working a daily programme of recovery, such as the Twelve Steps. There are fellowships which are devoted to helping sex addicts receive support and help in their behaviour. For a sex addict to be abstinent from the behaviour does not mean that they must stay celibate for the rest of their life – it is a normal human behaviour to engage in sexual acts, just not ones which begin to destroy their lives and keep them in a terrible cycle of shame and self loathing. A sex addict who turns to celibacy as a way of dealing with the problem is not addressing the root cause – similar to a ‘dry drunk’.

With proper treatment and therapy, coupled with a programme of recovery, a sex addict can begin to lead a happy and normal life again. A recovery programme will keep a sex addict aware of their behaviours and dangerous situations which may lead to relapse and will teach them tools to cope with daily life.

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